The First Step of Becoming God Is a Bottle to the Face Pouya

Why do I do the things I do to myself?
The pressure on my soul is damaging my health
I know these rappers coming for my belt
Cutthroat 'cause you can't fit too much on that top shelf
So everybody wanna bump heads, money come rollin' in
Relationships get questioned, do you even know your friends?
Baby mama, hold my hand, tell me that it's gonna end
Look up, tell me God is great, then, baby, why the sky so gray?

Lay my head in your lap, as you caress my shoulder
We get high, then we doze off, wake me up when it's over
I'm getting older, don't think I've come to terms yet
Still searching for my purpose, wondering if it's worth it
You study one book your entire life and still end up a crook
I'm rollin' dice, I come alive at night, I never thought to
Look the other way as my demons call my name
You know what they say
Who am I to blame?

They say to think, sleep and breathe deeper
Is the only way to avoid meetin' the Grim Reaper
Prayin' on my knees until I crease my sneakers
Can anybody out there hear me? Should I speak up?
I'm pacing back and forth
Like it's a sport with sweat dripping down my face
The weight of the world is on my chest and I just wanna walk away

I've been betrayed, swayed and played
Face-to-face by the ones who say they love me the most
But now I know that blood was never thick as water
See my friends die slowly in front of my eyes
See the pain and agony through every smile that I encounter

Back of the tour bus with the blue pills, dollar bills, and dancers
Back at home, second hand, strugglin' with cancer
Almost felt like it was me, how could I be so selfish?
Thinking about myself but not the one that I'm in love with
Damn, my heart feel like erupting
Barely shedding tears, I had to emphasize my toughness