I took my troubles down to Madame Rue You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine Sellin' little bottles of Love Potion No. 9 I told her that I was a flop with chicks I've been this way since 1956 She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign She said, "What you need is Love Potion No. 9" She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink She said, "I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink" It smelled like turpentine, it looked like Indian ink I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink I didn't know if it was day or night I started kissin' everything in sight But when I kissed a cop down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine He broke my little bottle of Love Potion No. 9 I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink I didn't know if it was day or night I started kissin' everything in sight But when I kissed a cop down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine He broke my little bottle of Love Potion No. 9 Love Potion No. 9 Love Potion No. 9 Love Potion No. 9